Today I’ll share with you my Self-Love and Self-Improvement worksheet, and talk about why it is important to work on both simultaneously.
Balance Self-Love and Self-Improvement
There is a balance to be struck between self-love and self-delusion, just as between objectivity about your shortcomings and self-hatred.
Like I talk about in my posts on Shadow Work (Part I is here), we need to “make room” both psychologically and existentially for positive change to take place or for us to bring one of our values more fully into our lives.
Most of us wait for catastrophe to make this room. In the vacuum left by a major loss, such as a death or a breakup, we gain perspective and space for new things to come in.
However, there are so many ways to open up that space without needing something in your life to explode.
You are already whole
You are already whole and perfect.
Yes, you, flawed and fragile human!
Regardless of what you want to do or be, realize that right now, in this single moment, you exist and you are enough. You deserve happiness and wholeness. You always have, and you always have it in the now. No matter what you’ve done in the past that was wrong, or what you will do in the future, you are already worthy of love.
We can accept that we are already whole and thus work towards growth, goals, and whatever change we wish without “grasping” neurotically toward the result. We can let ourselves unfold yet with the conscious direction of our highest selves.
There is no such thing as monsters
We are all capable of horrible and wretched things.
But one-dimensional evil does not exist. Hurt people (and sick people) hurt people.
Spending our lives hating others for what they have done and consuming ourselves with guilt and self-loathing for our wrongs is destructive and wasteful use of energy that could be directed towards the root of the problems.
A favorite analogy of mine is that hatred is like acid – it corrodes the vessel that holds it.
Focus on now
We cannot undo what has been done but we can use our pain in a constructive way.
No matter who you are or what you have done, if you are actively working to fix yourself then you deserve to forgive yourself. This is not reliant on the forgiveness of others, and in fact, if you have hurt someone terribly, in probably 90% of cases you should leave them out of your healing process so as not to disturb theirs.
Focusing on appeasing the emotions others is an impossible game. We cannot and should not try to control others or make how we feel reliant on them. Easier said than done, yes, but it is a lifelong value worthy of active pursuit.
Self-Love Worksheet and Self-Improvement Worksheet
If you prefer a PDF of the “Self Love Worksheet & Self Improvement Worksheet”, you can find it HERE!
- Name 5 things that are great, special, or positive about yourself. This can be anything, major or minor. It can be anything about your qualities, career, appearance, achievements, or even the fact that you are doing this worksheet. Gas yourself up! Allow yourself to be “arrogant” for a moment.
- List as many good deeds you’ve done as you can think of.
- Write as many positive memories down from the last week as you can. Then reach farther back. Try to remember as many positive experiences from your life as possible.
- What is something you can forgive yourself for? Even for just one second?
- Is there something you could forgive someone else for? Even for just one second?
- What is one thing you want to work on about yourself (Career, habits, qualities, appearance, etc.)?
- Is there something you can do to make a move in this direction, even 1%?
- Is there one thing in your power that you could do to improve the lives of others?
- Can you think of one other thing you could do to improve your own life?
- What are some things that you can give up in order to make room for these changes?
Self-Love and Self-Improvement go hand in hand. If you love yourself, you will want to treat yourself well and improve yourself. Alternately, if you hate yourself you will harm yourself, and therefore those around you, more than you may ever realize.
When you can accept your flaws and move past guilt and hold yourself in an objective and more neutral light, you free up your vital energy – the kind the world desperately needs.
If you have any questions do not hesitate to comment below.
Thanks for reading!
~ Blessed Be and Happy Creating ~
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